Whilst working with a group of students that have challenging behaviours and come from challenging backgrounds, I realised their lexicon mainly consisted of every second word starting with the letter “F”! I’m sure you can understand exactly what I mean. So I said to them, “There is no “F” in communication.”
It dawned on me how much profanity we actually use in our communication. We can tell simple joke and others would not find it funny. Yet stick in a swear word & most will find it hilarious.
Have you ever watched a period drama that had foul language in its script? Ever noticed the type of profanity used from days gone by?
I can confess to using bad language at times, in particularly when out with close friends or work colleagues. Or when screaming at the television when watching my favourite football team or when in road rage mode!
Though we know when not to use the right language at times, yet it is lewd language we can quickly revert back to the moment we move to another situation.
So for what reason do we have to use such words? Does it give us a sense of stature? Does it make us feel more dominant? Or give us more bravado? Has it been passed down from generation to generation?
I have at least two friends who find it hard to swear. Even saying “bloody” they profusely apologise after and spend the next month going to confession!
We have so many expressive words in our vocabulary, yet is it is our expression of our language that makes us use offensive words.
Going backwards on the NLP Communications model, we see our behaviour is triggered by our emotions, which is triggered by our thoughts. How do you feel about how your behaviour is seen by others when using such a glossary of words? How do you consider someone else when they use foul language?
Can we only think of those types of offensive words to make a point of what we are communicating? Even when we decide to learn a foreign language, we look for the translation of our favourite crude words.
Where did they come from? What was their initial use for when they were created? Who started using them?
A few of them mean the same in any language, and that can only be a danger too if they all start to become universal, especially if you consider they are usually used in anger. Could you consider the possibility of world leaders using foul language whilst at the G8 summit?
I’m going to guess that brought a wry smile across your face at the thought of that!
It could also make one cringe at the fact if Presidents Trump and Putin started having a slanging match, swearing at each, calling each other such offensive names, that in an instant that little red button was pushed down & we all ended up in World War III.
Being assertive shows confidence, directness, though not aggressive or in-your-face. Broadening your spectrum of language gains respect and reverence, not disgust or indignation.
Consider a different approach with your choice of language. There’s a difference from aggressive language and assertive language. We can be assertive without the use of foul language if we just gave it a thought.